Sorry, Not Sorry! What I Refuse to Apologize For

I have noticed that as women we seem to always be apologizing. It’s almost as if “I’m sorry” is just our default answer when we don’t meet the expectations of others. Maybe this isn’t your case, but I know this is the case for so many women.

We’re sorry we can’t fit everything in our schedules. We’re sorry we can’t fix everyone’s problems. We’re sorry we didn’t do everything perfect.

Motherhood changes you. I mean OBVIOUSLY. The moment you become a mom life as you know it ends. You are rebirthed! Becoming a mother has truly shifted my entire life, inside and out. It has made me a stronger person than I have ever been before. It has also shifted my mindset. My priorities, and the things that I once worried or cared about have completely changed.

If I’m being honest those first few months of parenthood are no cakewalk, and as a mother and a wife it’s easy to feel like you’re drowning. I am not about to sit here and tell you that I didn’t try to be Stepford mom the first few weeks home with the baby…. but I think we all try that.

I remember saying to my husband that if I was home with the baby I promised to keep the house spotless and food ready for him when he walked through the door. Anyone have a time machine so I can go back in time and laugh in my face?

Everyday is completely out of my control. Some days my daughter is happy to play on her own and entertain herself, others she needs my constant attention. Some days I’m able to get the house squeaky clean and dinner on the table, other days it looks like a bomb went off and I’m begging my husband to pick up takeout. This is life now.

I decided to really look at all the positive aspects of this new life. First I have THE most amazing baby ever… at least I personally think so! I feel so complete when I look into her beautiful blue eyes. If I feel so whole when I’m with my daughter, how can any part of me be missing right? She is my number one priority and she is such a happy girl, so I know in my heart I am doing a good job, even on days when it may not feel like it. Even on days when the house is a mess, dinner is nowhere near ready, and i feel like I have a million things to apologize for not getting done.

When you come from a place of positivity it is easy to let go of a lot of worries. It also helps that you don’t have the energy for all that worrying thanks to your new mom schedule! When I’m not stressed about all those things I’m a more present mother and wife.

So you know what, I decided that I’m happier when I let go of all those things society may tell me to be sorry about. I’m not sorry, because the time I used to use to accomplish these things is now spent being the best mama I can be.

Without further adieu, here is what I no longer apologize for, and you shouldn’t either:

  1. Bless this mess! My house has literally NEVER been at the level of untidy as it is currently. After several drop ins (anyone else hate this? Seems to come with the territory of having a baby) and several apologies for my messy home I just decided I don’t care. If the cleanliness of my home reflects my life and who I am, here is what it reflects: the dishes in the sink reflect the meals I’ve made for my husband and baby to keep them nourished. The piles of laundry that I’ve folded but haven’t been put away reflect the time I’ve been away at work to help support my family. The dust bunnies in the corners of the rooms reflect the snuggles I have given, books I have read, and precious time I have given to my daughter instead of sweeping. Will my daughter remember the extra piles of laundry, the fact that I couldn’t get to the dishes until she was asleep, or that there was a little extra dust on my shelves? Nope! But she will remember all the time I spent playing and bonding with her! After all, that’s all I remember from my childhood!
  2. Saying no to plans: before my baby I felt the need to say yes to every single plan a friend or family member would throw my way. Last minute plans to go to a winery… um yes count me in! Sure, I’d be at your party, after working at the farm stand and rushing to a quick dinner with someone I haven’t seen in forever! Well, no I am so so so happy to use the word “no”. No I won’t be attending that party because if my child doesn’t get to bed by 7, I’m paying for it tomorrow morning when she wakes up at 5 am instead of 7 am! Nope, I can’t make it to that dinner because I am so exhausted from all the other things piled on my plate that I actually need 2 hours on couch to watch mindless TV in between my child’s bedtime and my own. I’m not even a little sorry about this one. Yes on one hand I’m sad that I can’t fly by the seat of my pants anymore and say yes to every last minute plan thrown my way… but on the other hand, if I can squeeze in an hour to actually sit down with a glass of wine by myself I’m taking it! It’s not that I won’t miss the company of good friends and family, it’s just that some days I’m not sure when I’ll actually get to be ALONE. If I have that chance, mama is gonna pick that over overstimulation any day and there is no way I’m feeling sorry for it!
  3. How I choose to parent. This one is SO important for all of us to hear. It’s 2019, and we all know that everyone is different and that’s what makes this world beautiful! My whole life I’ve heard “there is no one exactly like you and that’s why you’re special!” This is absolutely true for everyone! So how in the hell can we expect everyone to do things the way we do them? I’ve only been a mom for 6 months, and the amount of mom shaming I have witnessed is astounding! How can we spread a message that our differences make us beautiful, and then turn around and talk behind some moms back because she didn’t breastfeed her baby? Oh you never let your child have screen time because of that study you read on Facebook? That’s great, but don’t turn around and point your finger at the mother who needs her hands free for 30 minutes while she tries to cook dinner for her family and has no one to hold her screaming toddler! We all read the books Karen, and you know what I learned? Every freaking psychologist has a different theory of how we should raise our children and they all think they’re right! You know the truth? Every mother is different, every child is different, every family is different. What works for one probably won’t work for another! I started my child on Whole Foods and skipped the cereal and had more than one person judge me. Do you mamas! My kid was stealing sweet potatoes off my plate, so I chose to give her the damn sweet potatoes (dr approved of course), and she was ecstatic! If you choose to start with cereal I think that’s great! Neither one way or the other is better. It’s just different! I’m choosing to raise my child with the “respectful parenting” method. I already try to explain to my daughter everything we are doing. When I change her diaper I explain to her “I’m going to change your diaper now”, if I put her down I say “ok, I’m putting you down for a few minutes, I understand you’re upset, but Mommy has to clean up and then I’ll pick you back up!” Yes she’s 6 months old, and YES I have been told she doesn’t understand and this is ridiculous. At the end of the day this feels right to me and I refuse to say sorry for it! If you do it completely differently that’s amazing and I think you’re doing the best for you and your children too! Our differences are what make us beautiful remember?
  4. My appearance. Shower…. that’s that thing in the bathroom that sprays water out of the wall right? Yes I remember it fondly! Just kidding. I do shower, but is it everyday? Show me one mom that says she hasn’t missed a shower in a year and I will give her a medal. Now that my daughter’s naps are on a schedule this little luxury has finally started coming back into my life, but there are some days it still doesn’t happen. Make up? I mean I use mascara! That’s about all the time I usually have to do it. Shampoo? Yeah I use that about once a week! Dry shampoo is a mamas new best friend am I right? I have literally caught myself going to the store looking like I rolled out of bed, and I only noticed when I caught my reflection in the door on the way out. I could spend more time on my appearance, but when the trade off is time with my child, or attempting to cross a chore off my never ending list, I’m gonna pick one of those.
  5. Not replying to your texts or calls. Hey remember that time when no one had cell phones? Remember when texting wasn’t unlimited, and you had to wait for the weekend or after 7 to call your friends? Remember when the way you contacted your friends was AIM and if you put an away message up no one cared if u didn’t respond for hours?! Yeah those were the good old days! Now people feel totally ok with calling your cell phone ten times until you pick up, or texting you “hello?!?!?!” if you haven’t responded in two seconds. I am guilty myself, trust me! How sad is it that we have become a culture of now? We can’t even give the people we love some space to be away from their phones or computers? We need them to answer us the second we text them! Well, one thing I consider a blessing is how much time away I spend from my phone now that I’m a mom. I don’t want my daughter to see me on my phone. I want her to have a mom who is present when she is present. So unless I’m taking a photo of her I try to keep my cellphone in the other room. So if you text me or call me 10 times and it took me hours to answer that’s why. Sometimes I look at your texts, and then she wakes from her nap or needs me to remove her from her playpen because she’s overstimulated. Yup, I of course forget to reply. Sometimes it takes me days to remember! I’m not gonna apologize for choosing my child over my phone and neither should you! No one is going to die if you don’t answer their text immediately, and if it’s an emergency they should probably call 911 not you. Never apologize for being present, because that is a gift.
  6. Taking time for myself. You bet your bottom dollar that I’m taking a few minutes a day for myself. At least I try to! No I’m not taking hours and hours on end to go to the spa, or have my nails done. I’m taking 20-30 minutes a day to keep myself sane. This may consist of a workout, a walk, sitting outside with my dog and a cup of coffee, reading a book, or watching Bravo on tv until my mind melts. I NEED this time. As moms and wives we are constantly doing things for everyone else. My life is literally all about helping my daughter learn and grow. It’s my favorite job, but I can’t help her feel like her needs are being fully met if I don’t also meet my own. What kind of mom and wife would I be if I was resentful and cranky because I didn’t allow myself 30 freaking minutes to decompress? I know I’m a better mom and wife when I give myself even just this tiny amount of time in my day to make myself happy. If you’re not doing this you need to! It will make your day that much better. After all, we can’t pour from an empty cup!
  7. Being myself. I honestly never really apologized for this, but I did sometimes feel guilty. When I was in the first grade, my parents attended parent teacher conference day and were told that their daughter was a daydreamer. That I spent more time daydreaming and up in the clouds than I did paying attention to class and to others. She also told my parents to never try to change that because it was special. Well people, nothing has changed! That’s not to say that I don’t work really hard, and focus when I’m at work or home trying to accomplish my goals. However, I tend to say things that are in my head without thinking it through, do really spacey things, forget what I’m doing at any given moment, cannot control my facial expressions AT ALL (if I’m thinking it but not saying it… my face is). This is who I am. I’m not malicious, and I of course always feel bad when someone doesn’t understand me, but I never mean to hurt or harm anyone. I’m just up in the clouds! It took me 30 years, but you know what I’m proud of who I am and I’m no longer apologizing. I’m a dreamer, and sometimes that doesn’t compute with people who’s feet are firmly planted on the ground. This is me and I’m not changing. Never apologize for who you are. Your people, your tribe, your family will get you. The people who don’t, they aren’t for you and that’s ok! If we all realized this I think the world would get along so much better! Let’s accept and celebrate our differences. You are exactly the person you were meant to be. Never say sorry for that.

There is so much freedom when we give up apologizing for everything. I’m not telling you to never say sorry. I will always apologize for hurting someone’s feelings, for letting someone down, or for messing up. Just remember that to live life to the fullest may mean giving up some chores, missing some phone calls, taking 20 minutes to chill out, skipping a shower, saying no to plans, and leaning into who you are!

Let’s spend less time apologizing for who we are mamas and more time celebrating ourselves, each other, and all the ways that make us unique and special! You’re doing an amazing job mama! Never apologize for it.

Creamy and Simple Butternut and Sweet Potato Soup

It’s finally here! Autumn has officially hit! There’s a crispness to our morning air, the leaves are beginning to change, the days are a little bit shorter, and girls have officially broken out the PSL lattes!

I myself LOVE this season! I love the cooler weather, wearing sweaters, the smell in the air…. but mostly I love the food! The farm stand starts stocking my favorite veggies this time of year. Broccoli, cauliflower, sweet potatoes and winter squash…. one of my absolute favorites being Butternut!

I also have been known to love a good bowl of soup, so having the cool weather as an excuse to whip up a pot of soup on the regular makes me happy! I’ve already made about 3 different soups and it’s only been officially fall for a week now.

Sadly when I first met my husband he proclaimed that he HATED soup. I know! I was just as shocked as you are! How could anyone hate soup?! It’s warm, it’s comforting, filling and it’s flavorful!

This did not stop me from pumping out soup after soup on a mission to change his mind.

Happily, I can tell you that he no longer hates soup. He will eat any soup I give him and he usually asks for more! He does however favor a creamy soup (especially on colder days).

I made this particular soup after a busy day at the farm stand. One of my favorite parts of making soup is how easy it can be! You literally cut everything up, throw it in a pot and walk away. That’s the kind of dinner I can get on board with during this time of year… especially now when I’m working a full time job and helping out at the stand on weekends and I’m 5 months pregnant.

I literally stood at the farm stand after work and saw butternut squash and sweet potatoes and decided to challenge myself to a new soup. I am so glad I did because this one is definitely a new favorite!

Not only is this husband approved, but this one is also sister in law approved as well! She happened to be over for dinner that night and the two of them loved it!

So if you’re not sure to do with our butternut squash and want to try a twist on your usual butternut squash soup recipe, give this one a whirl! It is so simple, very minimal ingredients and SO delicious!

Happy cooking!

1 Butternut squash chopped

2 carrots chopped

2 sweet medium potatoes chopped

1 onion chopped

3 cloves garlic minced

1 tbs olive oil

4 cups veggie stock

1 can coconut milk

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp fresh pepper

1 tsp turmeric

1/2 tsp sage

1/2 tsp thyme

1 tsp paprika

1 tsp chili powder

Optional topping: crumbled bacon…. I usually don’t add it because the soup is delicious on its own but my husband LOVES to!

  1. In a large soup pot heat olive oil and add onion and garlic. Sauté for about 2 minutes or until they begin to sweat (or the onions start to become translucent).
  2. Add the chopped carrots, butternut squash and sweet potato and stir. I like to let it cook for about a minute.
  3. Throw in your spices and stir everything together, again let them cook for another minute so the flavors can really sink into those veggies.
  4. Add you veggie or chicken stock and bring to a boil. Once it comes to a boil reduce to a simmer and cook for about 25 min.
  5. Add in your coconut milk stir well, and cook for another 5 min.
  6. Place soup in a blender or food processor or use my favorite tool and immersion blender to purée!

Serve it to your family, friends or company and enjoy!

Love and light,

Rachael Krupski

Guilt Free Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars

Happy September! It’s hard to believe it’s actually here! Where is this year going?

I can’t say I’m not excited to see September finally arrive. Something magical starts to happen this time of year. The leaves begin to change, the mornings get cooler and quieter, and fall decor and produce kicks into overdrive at the farm (and my house… yes I already have a pumpkin proudly displayed on my table… not even sorry).

As fall quickly approaches (sorry but it’s true!) this pregnant lady has been craving all types of baked goods! Something about fall makes me want to bake breads, cookies, and cakes. I have been trying to keep my diet as healthy and nutrient dense as possible for baby girl Krupski, while allowing myself to give into cravings once in a while.

A few weeks ago we were invited to a dinner party at a friends house, and I decided that was the perfect time to whip up a dessert! Still keeping baby in mind, I chose to make something that was not just yummy but also nutritious… without anyone knowing!

I had been craving brownies and chocolate chip cookies that week, so it made sense to me to try and make something that mixed that warm gooey brownie texture with a chocolate chip cookie flavor! I went to my pantry and gathered my ingredients, threw them into a food processor, and created a delicious batch of Guilt Free Chocolate Chip bars.

My husband was skeptical… as he always is when I make a healthy dessert. He fondly remembers the days of cookies, cupcakes and brownies when we first started dating. He somehow forgets the part where where both gained 20 LBs from all my baking back then. He wasn’t sure a healthy dessert was the right choice to bring to a dinner party.

Well, on the way home (clean cookie plate in hand), he apologized for ever doubting me. They were a hit! Nick even ate 2-3 of them! No one had any idea they were healthy until I revealed my ingredients… and even after that they continued to grab them. I will definitely be bringing them to a party again soon.

These bars came out gooey, soft, and sweet with just the right amount of chocolate flavor. They took 5 min to prep, and 30 min to bake. Best of all, the batter is made entirely in a food processor (or blender) so clean up is a breeze!

Try these bad boys out! Share them with friends and family, and I bet that plate will be clean by the end of the party.

  • Guilt Free Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars
  • Ingredients:
    • 1 can chickpeas
      3/4 cup creamy peanut butter
      1/4 cup pure maple syrup
      1/2 tsp vanilla
      1/4 tsp baking powder
      1/4 tsp baking soda
      1/2 cup chocolate chips

    1. Preheat oven to 350° and grease your baking dish. (I used coconut oil spray in a 13×9 inch pan but u can use a smaller pan for thicker pieces just add more time to bake).
    2. In a food processor add chickpeas, peanut butter, maple syrup, vanilla, baking powder and baking soda and combine on high speed until mixture is creamy.
    3. Add the chocolate chips and pulse until they are evenly mixed in.
    4. Spread your batter onto your greased pan and bake for 25-30 min or until the edges begin to pull away from the pan. You can also use the toothpick test to see if they are ready!

    That’s it! I told you they were simple! When I told everyone there were chickpeas in them people were shocked!

    They add a nice serving of protein in this dessert that will help regulate your blood sugar. That’s right, instead of this dessert sending sugar surging through your blood stream, that protein will help to slow the process down and keep your blood sugar much steadier. Just an added bonus to a delicious treat!

    I hope you try these cookie bars out and let me know what you think! Happy baking!

    Love and light,

    Rachael Krupski

    Rainy Day Summer Soup!

    Ok. So, I know it’s summer and all, but I can’t stop craving soup! I have had just about all the salad I can stand over the past few months. Once in a while mama wants a hot tasty comfort meal. My pregnancy cravings seem to sending me in a soup spiral! This baby is all about a comforting bowl of soup these days!

    Luckily, we’ve had quite a few rainy days which I felt justified me whipping up a yummy pot of homemade soup!

    My husband and I have very different views on what a meal should be. I could live on a bowl of soup or 3 a day, and Nick… well to be frank, he’s a soup hater. I KNOW?! Who hates soup? Am I right?

    Well as it turns out, he may be converted! After having a bowl of this summer veggie soup, Nick actually got up for seconds! Not only that but he said “babe are you sure this is healthy?! It’s so good!” Why yes this soup is absolutely 100% healthy, and still 100% Hubby approved. This is a huge win in my book!

    The best part about this soup is it could not be easier to throw together. There are only a few simple ingredients, all of which are in season at the moment. I literally walked around the farm and our farm stand and picked my favorite summer veggies and whipped this baby up. I grabbed a zucchini, yellow squash, onion, potatoes, and of course our famous Krupski Farms white corn (any corn will do though) and got to work! I think I will be making this soup again and again until summer ends!

    Like I said, the recipe is super simple and and quick! Give it a try, and see what you think!

    Prep time: 5 min

    Cook time: 35 min

    Servings: 4-5

    Ingredients:

    • 1 cup potatoes chopped
    • 1 medium zuchinni
    • 1 yellow squash
    • 1/2 onion chopped
    • 2 gloves of garlic minced
    • 1 Tbs coconut oil (or EVOO)
    • 5 cups vegetable stock (or chicken stock)
    • 1/4 tsp fresh rosemary
    • 1/2 tsp fresh thyme
    • 1 heaping tsp fresh parsley
    • 1/2 tsp turmeric
    • 1/2 tsp chili powder
    • 1/2 tsp paprika
    • Salt and pepper to taste (I used about 1 tsp salt because my stock was unsalted)
      Heat coconut oil in large sauce pan, then add onion and sauté for 1 minute.
      Add garlic to pan and sauté garlic and onion until they both begin to sweat.
      Add potatoes and sauté for another 2 minutes, then add remaining vegetables and all seasoning. Cook for another 2 minutes.
      Pour in the 5 cups or vegetable stock and bring to a boil. Once the soup comes to a rapid boil, reduce to a simmer. Allow the soup to simmer for about 25 minutes then enjoy!

    See! How simple is that?! This soup is healthy, hearty, and so quick and simple to make! It’s a hit in our house and I’m sure I will be making a few more pots before summer is over to freeze for the winter!

    I hope you try this recipe out and enjoy it as much as we do! If you try it, leave me a comment letting me know what you think!

    Happy cooking!

    Love and light,

    Rachael Krupski

    Dessert for Breakfast? (Berry Chocolate Oatmeal, yum!)

    We have all heard the age old words “breakfast is the most important meal of the day!” My Mom used to recite that phrase every morning as she chased me out the door to the school bus with a glass of Carnation Instant Breakfast (the only thing she could get me to choke down in the morning).

    It took me years to start a practice of eating in the morning. Putting food in my mouth first thing in the morning made my stomach hurt…. not to mention that I was never a huge fan of breakfast foods. Instant oatmeal was bland, cereals were not exactly what I was craving at 6 am, and there was no chance I was getting eggs bacon and toast unless I was heading to a diner first thing in the morning (ain’t nobody got time for that!)

    I finally started eating breakfast when I began my health journey and learned the importance of kickstarting my metabolism first thing in the morning. I started practicing chugging a full glass of water as soon as I woke up, and following it with whatever easy breakfast I could find.

    I was very skeptical at first of the importance of a breakfast, but lo and behold, once I started eating breakfast my life did change! I had more energy, I actually started losing a few pounds, and I wasn’t as cranky or groggy when I got to work.

    Once I got on the breakfast train I couldn’t help but expand my morning menu. I’ve always been pretty excited about cooking, but the breakfast world was pretty limited to me. Sure I could make myself some scrambled eggs but other than that, it was cereal and almond milk.

    I started with smoothies, omelettes, and avocado toast, but I have also expanded into the world of homemade oats.

    For my entire life I was under the impression that homemade oatmeal must be super difficult… I mean why else would everyone choose super processed, cardboard flavored, instant oats? Well folks… I was SO wrong!

    Who new making your own oatmeal takes only 10 minutes and can taste like heaven in a bowl?! You can make so many different flavors, add any toppings you want, and sweeten them with maple syrup, honey or agave without sacrificing health!

    Some of my favorite homemade oatmeal’s include apple cinnamon, pumpkin spice, banana peanut butter, and my latest obsession Chocolate Berry!

    Chocolate berry has become a favorite not only for its delicious taste, but for its health benefits! It is choc full of antioxidants, vitamins and minerals and is sure to leave you satisfied! Not only is it delicious, nutritious and chocolates, it’s one of the easiest breakfasts to whip up! So follow along with the recipe and enjoy!

    Here’s what you’ll need for 1 serving:

    1/2 cup oats

    1/2 tsp cacao powder

    1 banana mashed (optional but so good!)

    1tsp maple syrup

    1/2 cup berries

    1 Tbs pecans

    Coconut flakes for garnish

    1/2 tsp cinnamon

    1. First you’ll need to bring one cup of water to a boil, and then add in your oats and reduce to a simmer.
    2. Allow the oats to simmer for about 3 minutes, or until the oats appear to be thickening. Once this happens add in that mashed banana. Cook for another 5 minutes.
    3. Add the remaining ingredients, stirring well. Cool for another 2 minutes or until the oatmeal has reached your desired thickness. You may choose to wait to add the berries until the end, which will keep them from breaking up in the mixture (which I prefer), or to save a few to add as topping!
    4. Once your oats appear fully cooked, remove them from the stove, top with your coconut flakes and any remaining berries for garnish and enjoy!

    I literally can’t stop making this recipe. It’s simple, delicious, and highly nutritious! It only takes about 10 minutes to whip up, and leaves me full and happy (not to mention I get to eat chocolate before I even start my day!)

    I hope you enjoy this yummy breakfast treat! Get creative and swap out pecans for you’re favorite nuts, choose whatever berries you like, and garnish with whatever toppings you see fit! It’s your breakfast, so make it the way you like it!

    If you try this out, let me know in the comments below! I would love to hear from you!

    Happy cooking!

    – Love & light,

    Rachael