We Plan… Baby Laughs

I have always been a planner.

I like to plan what I’m eating for each meal, I like to plan my weekends (a good 5 days ahead), I like to plan what time I’ll be in bed. I just like to have a plan!

Since becoming a parent, planning has become super interesting. Plans become EXTRA important in many ways.

We have to plan ahead and pack 100 diapers… just in case our kids randomly decide to poop up their backs. Hand in hand with that, we need to make sure we have an extra outfit in case they do, have an extra layer in case it gets cold, extra socks, cooler clothes, pjs… just in case!

We need to plan a time when we absolutely have to start getting everyone ready so that we’re only a few minutes late, and not an hour late. We need to plan waaaaaay ahead of time if we want to do anything without our kids, because we need someone to commit to watching them.

There’s a whole lot of planning going on here!

Today I planned on taking my daughter to a play date at our church. It’s a weekly open play date held by the local mother’s club, and I was excited to finally go to one with her. I RSVPd on Facebook a week ago with excitement! I seriously love taking Tori to play with other kids, because she lights up around them.

My best friends also had planned to take their little ones, which I appreciated because I’m shy around new people.

My daughter woke at 7:30 this morning, just as I finished writing up my last report for work. PERFECT! That meant she would take her nap by 8:30, and be up by 9:30, giving us just enough time to get dressed and get out the door to make it right on time! We played for a bit, read some books, I nursed her and right on cue she started rubbing her tired eyes.

With a smile on my face for my perfect planning, I brought her to her room to lay her down. I kissed her, handed her her pacifier and waved as I closed the door, proud of myself to sticking to such a good schedule.

She didn’t make a peep! Wonderful! This was going just as I planned…

I began emailing the reports I had finished. I got about 10 minutes in, and that’s when I heard it.

“Maaaaaaama! Maaaaaaaaaama! Daaaaaadaaaaa!”

She was not sleeping. Not even laying down. I opened my baby monitor app and low and behold, my sweet angel baby wasn’t napping. Nope, she was preforming a concert for her stuffed animals in her room. She sang loud and proud, and bounced her knees as she smacked the side of her crib to keep the beat.

I waited. “She’ll go to sleep, just give her a few minutes,” I thought to myself.

Well, 30 minutes passed, and she was on her second set. It sounded like her teddy bears were demanding an encore, and she wasn’t going to disappoint.

She was happy, so I let her continue her merriment.

About 45 minutes into her performance, she took her final bow and laid down for her nap.

I looked at the clock… plans had been derailed. There was NO way that we were gonna be at the play date before 10:30, and at that point it was far more work to get there than it would be worth it.

I texted my girlfriends “why is it that every time I make plans my child refuses to take her nap?” This is universal code to our other mom friends for “hey… don’t kill me but we’re probably not going to make it.”

Within seconds I had two texts back saying the exact same things. No ones plans were going the way we had hoped.

#MOMLIFE… am I right? Why do we even bother trying sometimes?

It seemed that none of our babies wanted to nap, and wouldn’t be up in time for the play date. This didn’t stop me from having hope for a few minutes!

We even attempted a new plan to possibly go for a walk instead after the girls napped… key word POSSIBLY.

You guessed it… that didn’t happen either!

The planner in me wants to freak out when these things happen.

In my head my daughter and I were going to have a beautiful day. We were going to meet other moms, she was going to play with other babies, and we were all going to have so much fun.

I’ve grown used to plans changing quickly and abruptly over the last 9 months, and I’ve learned to embrace it. It is what it is.

Yes, it would have been lovely to get out of the house for an hour today and have some adult conversation. Yes, Victoria would have had a blast and probably taken a nice long nap for me this afternoon. Yes, time with my girlfriends would have been amazing.

It would have been great, but it’s ok that we couldn’t make it. There will be others.

I used to beat myself up when I’d make plans and they got all thrown off. Now I have been forced to learn to accept it and go with the flow.

No, my plan didn’t work out today.

Instead Victoria and I took the dog for an extra long walk on the farm after we fed our ducks. She and I sang and laughed the whole time. We ran into her aunt on our walk and she got to see her and smiled from ear to ear.

We laughed together as I showed her pictures of my grandmothers and asked her if she had met them in heaven (pretty sure she said yes). She learned how to say “Nana” and “Oma” (what HER two grandmothers go by). We danced to some music.

We snuggled.

We smiled… a LOT!

Today didn’t go as planned, but it did turn out to be a pretty awesome day with my daughter. Just the two of us.

That’s what is important these days; not the plans I make and wish would work out. The important thing these days is making the most of the precious time I have with my little girl; soaking up every second of the days I get to spend with her, and giving her my full attention.

She’s not going to remember the group play date that mommy didn’t take her to when she was 9 months old. She WILL remember that I made her laugh, smile, and feel so loved. She will remember how often I just let her be herself and play, and sat back to watch her.

It does seem that every time I make a plan Tori throws it completely off, but that’s ok.

It’s totally fine, because it also seems that the days those plans go out the window are some of the most magical days we have together.

So mamas embrace those plans that went up in flames. Remember to just enjoy every moment we have with these precious gifts we call our children.

Every moment we get with them is a part of the greater plan, and that’s all that matters.

Thank You for Being a Friend… Seriously, Thank You!

As you prepare for your future child you pour yourself into research, you read all the books, you make all the lists.

You browse the aisles of Buy Buy Baby with your partner with a twinkle in your eye as you compile your registry.

You Pinterest all the baby hacks, and things you need to keep your baby alive for their first year.

You set aside a room in your house for the nursery and nest til your little hearts content!

You have your shower and neatly put away all the things that you have been told are completely necessary to raise your little baby (many of which you will never use or open).

Well I’m here to tell you that one of the most important things that you will need when your child is born is not on that baby registry. Nope! You won’t find it in that parenting book you have read cover to cover, you definitely can’t buy it in a store, and most likely no one has even mentioned it to you as a necessity.

In my experience so far, this has been extremely important to my survival as a mom. You simply need some really good mom friends.

Sorry husbands, and family members! You are also important. You cooked for me for weeks after the baby came, you cared for me, and you love my daughter better than I could ever hope for. I’m not taking any of you for granted, but hear me out.

Mom friends are so so so important.

Motherhood is the most amazing experience of my entire life, but it can also be super lonely. The days can feel long, and isolating when your trapped at home with a fussy baby, dealing with the baby blues, and trying to figure out how to keep yourself fed and clean on top of the pile of chores around the house.

My husband is absolutely amazing. I tell him all the time that I literally do not know how single parents do this, because without him I would be failing at life.

My parents, siblings and in-laws are wonderful. They have all gone above and beyond to help us out with the baby whenever we need, and have been an amazing support system for us.

Friends who aren’t parents yet are also super important. I can’t tell you how thankful I am to grab a drink with a girlfriend and have a conversation about her dating life, rather than diapers and burping. It’s a breath of fresh air to have a conversation about anything other than your baby when you’ve been taking care of them day in and day out. You need these friends to remind you that you’re still you even after having a kid. I’m beyond grateful for all of my good friends, and love them like family.

That being said, a good mom friend is the only person that can make it feel like you aren’t alone on new parent island!

My husband is a very social person. He will make friends with just about anyone. Seriously… we’ll be in a store 100 miles away from our house and I’ll come back from another aisle and find him laughing with some random person, and when I ask him who it is he says “I don’t know, just some guy I met in the aisle.” Needless to say, he’s always making new friends.

I am not this way. I am friendly, but slightly shy.

I’m horrible at keeping up with friends. If you haven’t heard from me in days, weeks, months, years it’s not because I stopped liking you, it’s because I literally cannot take care of myself and my home, (and now my child) and remain in contact with other people as often as if like.

In the past I have been known to say to my husband MANY times, “but we don’t need any new friends, I love our friends and I find it hard enough to keep up with socializing as it is!”

Well people… things change! Give me ALL the mom friends!

You know who doesn’t give a shit if you text them daily or weekly… other moms! They aren’t annoyed or thinking you hate them! They’re just as frazzled as you are, and odds are they read your last text and forgot to respond for a month because their baby woke from their nap as they opened it.

You know who isn’t offended that you are late to every single plan you make? Mom friends! Yeah you both said 10am, but you also both know that really meant whenever you manage to escape your house after battling your child.

You know who also isn’t offended that you canceled your plans an hour before you were supposed to meet? That’s right! Your mom friends! They get it. They have felt the sting of defeat when their child won’t nap, and is screaming at the top of their lungs as you try to get them dressed to go somewhere.

They just get it.

They’re going through these same things you are, and they couldn’t be happier to share all these hair pulling, tear jerking moments with you, as well as all of your triumphs.

It feels so good to have friends that text you back “oh girl, I am right there with you” when you feel like you could scream after a day of your child going on nap strike.

When you lose your shit, you need someone who is losing their shit right along side you, so that you don’t feel like you’re the only one who may be headed to the mental ward. It’s good to know you’ll be heading there with a friend or two.

No one else knows the feeling of wanting to murder their husbands almost every single day, while simultaneously loving them, and being ridiculously grateful for them at the same time. Yes men, you thought we were complex before… wait til we become mothers.

The other night I had the pleasure of grabbing a glass of wine with 4 other mamas. One of my friends started a story by saying “oh my gosh I have to tell you this story, because I know none of you will be shocked when I talk about poop!” Ain’t that the truth!

No one but a fellow mom will bond with you over poop stories. If I were to talk to any of my friends who’ve yet to have children, and recount the amount of blowout stories I have I’m pretty sure I may never hear from them again. You know who is happy to hear you vent about your kids “fun with feces”, and will happily compare stories with you? A mom friend! They are glad to compare and see who’s day was literally shittier!

You can talk about your kids non stop! You know when you’re out with a bunch of your friends who aren’t parents, and your having a conversation, and then you realize “oh my goodness, I’m just rambling about my kid… I can’t even stop! Have I run out of non-kid things to talk about?” Well, no worries about that when you’re with your mom friends!

The best thing about finding good mom friends is the support. No one lifts me up like my mama friends.

If I tell them I’m having an awful postpartum anxiety day, they check in on me. If any of us are having a hard time with something we get on our group chat and ask advice. We cry on each other’s shoulders. We tell each other “you’re right” when we need someone to reassure us.

We vent to each other about all the heartaches, emotions, and difficulties of mom life. We pour each other a glass of wine and let each other know it’s going to be ok. We try to get each other out of the house kid free (key word try).

We are all different. We each will parent our children differently. However, we are there for each other; there for all the hard times as well as the beautiful ones.

It doesn’t matter how you became a mom, if you are a stay at home, a working mom, or something in between. It doesn’t matter if you are super outgoing or super timid. It doesn’t matter if you have all the help in the world, or are struggling to stay afloat. This is the hardest job any of us will ever have. Having mom friends is like having a team of coworkers who you can bitch at the water cooler with.

If you are a new mom, or the only mom in your group of friends, I highly encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and find a mom friend. Even just one!

Take your kids to a play group, a baby program at your library, a mommy and me workout, join a mother’s club! Trust me, I am super shy when it comes to meeting new people, but it is worth it!

If you need a mom friend in your corner, I’m here for you.

Find your mom tribe, because no mama should ever feel alone; and because you’ll never feel more seen than you will sipping your cold coffee with a fellow mama who also isn’t quite sure if she brushed her teeth today or not. We’re all in this together.

Welcome to the Hood

A few weeks ago my husband and I found ourselves having our regular evening conversation.

We’re still in the beginning stages of parenting so it still goes kind of like this: “she’s amazing, I just love her so much” “I’m so happy she is sleeping, but my goodness I miss her!” “Hey did you take any videos today? Got any pics we can look at?!”

Go ahead and gag if you want y’all, but I know this sweet baby stage isn’t gonna last, so just let me have this okay?!

Anyway, somewhere in this discussion my husband turned to me and said “you know, it used to annoy the shit out of me when people would say ‘you won’t know until you’re a parent what it feels like’ but omg it’s so true! It’s like a members only club, and we finally got the card!”

I laughed and said he was spot on, and we had a good chuckle about the naive, innocent, fun loving, footloose and fancy-free people we used to be 9 months ago.

RIP pre-baby Krupski’s! You had a good run of late nights, and quiet weekends where you could sleep in and nurse your hangovers from more than just one glass of wine. You blasted countless hours of Nicki Minaj on your car rides to work, and dropped the F-bomb freely whenever you F-in wanted to.

These were good times.

Enter Victoria Mary Krupski… the good times went to AMAZING times.

I truly mean that.

Yes, like I mentioned a few lines earlier, I can’t have more than a glass of wine without a raging hangover. Yes, my alarm clock is a squealing baby at 6 am no matter what day it is (ahhh sleeping in I remember you fondly). Yes, my radio no longer plays my favorite bands, and is now screaming “Baby Shark” until my ears bleed. Yes, any and all plans I make for a day are subject to change due to nap strikes, teething, tantrums, and days where all she wants is mama.

Yes to all of the above, but also HELL YES to it’s been the best 9 months of my life.

It’s hard as hell, and there is literally no freaking way to know what each day will be like (which for a planner like me was hard to come to terms with); but waking up each morning to her smiling face, snuggles and hearing her say “mama” as she reaches for me in her crib makes that all worth it.

Some days I want to cry, because I can’t get a single thing done. The days she wants me to hold her or nurse her non-stop. The days she refuses to nap. These are rough days for me, but at the end of the day, I always find myself a little bummed that they’re over. Never knew I could feel like that.

When she falls down and bumps her head, and cries (happening often because she’s determined to walk already), my heart literally feels like it’s breaking. Watching her little tears stream down her face, and hearing her scream cry “mama” kills me.

I never knew I could physically feel my child’s pain. She’ll stop crying two seconds after it happens and I’ll still be trying to recover. I’m so screwed when she goes to school and someone else’s kid does something to hurt her… anyone seen This is 40? Thinking that scene where the mom makes the little boy cry for picking on her daughter is a vision of my future.

The crazy rush of love that I get every single time I look into her eyes is overwhelming. As cliché as it is, there is literally no way to put that feeling into words.

I really can’t wait to put her to bed at the end of the day. I’m all touched out from her clinging to my neck. I can’t wait to sit in silence instead of next to her while she plays, because if I walk away she screams at me. I can’t wait to just have 10 minutes alone once she’s in bed.

Then the weirdest thing happens. I miss that little girl! Soooo freaking much.

I look at photos, Nick and I watch videos. We have conversations that mostly revolve around her. It’s ridiculous! Ridiculously amazing.

My mom was right (I see that happy smirk on your face Mom). All my mom friends were right. I didn’t know until I had my daughter what it felt like.

I have officially received my members only card into the craziest club I’ve ever had the pleasure of joining.

There are sub groups within this club, and they too are members-only.

There are boy moms, girl moms, single parents, co-parents, adoptive parents, parents of multiples, rainbow baby parents, working moms, stay at home moms, stay at home dads, military parents… the list goes on.

Until we have our children, no matter what way, we really don’t have any clue. So let me apologize to all the mamas I rolled my eyes at before I had a baby…. even while pregnant (yes i admit it).

I am so honored to have joined this group of amazing men and women, and to know the most incredible love I have ever felt.

This is the best club I have ever joined, and the weirdest one as well.

After all, there ain’t no hood like parenthood.

Sleep When the Baby Sleeps, Clean When the Baby Cleans: Things I’ve Learned From the First Month of Motherhood

Well it’s been a little over a month since my sweet baby girl was born. Let me start off by saying that I am still brand spanking new at this whole thing, and I am so NOT an expert. That being said, the first month has taught me many things, and I feel it is important to share them with other new mommies and future mothers.

The first month of your baby’s life is how what I would expect bootcamp to be like. You are up at the crack of dawn (or any other hour your baby is), you are constantly working (feeding, changing, bouncing, laundry), and you follow all commands your tiny adorable general gives you or suffer the consequences of ear piercing screams!

Don’t be scared future mamas, because it is also the most amazing time of your life. Yes it’s tons of work, and you will be exhausted; but, you get to bond with the little human you housed for 10 months. There will be lots of smiling, laughter, and adorable, heart melting moments as well that make everything else so worth it!

So let’s get into all that I have learned this past whirlwind of a month!

There No Holy Bible for Parenting:

(image from http://www.scienceofmom.com)

There is sooooo much information out there about parenting it can be overwhelming. There are so many books out there written by parenting experts that all claim to be the book that will teach you all you need to know. There are so many schools of thought on how to care for your newborn, talk to them, respond to their cries, etc. that it may literally leave your overly tired head spinning.

Wanna know why there are so many? That’s because not one of them is the right one. I recommend reading one or two (because too much can drive you nuts) that you feel you can get on board with, and take what you want from them and leave the rest.

Every baby is different, every mother is different, every family is different. How can one book on parenting work for everyone? Do you! Heck don’t read any if you don’t want to, you’ll figure it out!

Nobody Knows What the F They’re Doing:

Seriously. Even the most put together, calm looking mama is winging it.

The general consensus is that we are all just fumbling around, trying to do the best we can. I don’t know a single mother, whether their children are young or grown, who feels like they have all the answers. We’re all just doing the best we can, and hoping we don’t screw up our kids too much in the process.

Welcome to the Club, You Aren’t Alone:

You may feel like you are detached from the rest of the world the first few weeks. Your husband is back to work, all your friends are going about their normal social schedule and posting pics of it on Instagram, and you’re stuck on your couch all day with your baby attached to your boob. You’re gonna have a LOT of questions, and you may feel weird bothering your friends who have been through it before while they’re busy living life.

Don’t worry mama, you aren’t alone. A big thing I read before having the baby was to join mothers groups to make new mom friends once baby was born. So what are you supposed to do the first two months (especially during cold and flu season) when your pediatrician advises you to keep the baby away from crowds and children until they are vaccinated?

Well, no matter how bad of a reputation social media has these days, there are some amazing things that it has created. Mom groups are all over Facebook, Instagram, and baby apps like the Bump, and Baby Center. You literally just have to search for them and book you found your new mommy group!

My favorite for the past month has been the Mama Said Facebook group. This group is for listeners of the Mama Said podcast (if you haven’t heard of it, and you’re a mom, do yourself a favor and listen to it! Thanks for the tip Lew!). It is a group of women who ask any and all questions you may be thinking of about motherhood: breastfeeding, sleep, how to deal with postpartum, bottle feeding, etc., and also talk all about things like mommy guilt and openly confess our (pardon my French) “shitty mommy” moments. Ask a question or share a story, and within minutes I promise you will have supportive uplifting responses. I’m so glad I found this group!

Sleep When the Baby Sleeps, Clean When the Baby Cleans:

I mean how annoying is the age old advice “sleep when the baby sleeps!” Ok Karen… because that pile of dirty laundry, and that sink full of dishes aren’t giving me agita! You can only sleep so many hours during the day and avoid your chores before you run out of dishes and clean underwear.

Yes your husband should help out around the house now that your full time job is baby care; but, odds are he’s working full time too and is also lacking sleep thanks to baby. I’m not gonna lie the first week or so I took naps when baby was napping. You are gonna feel like a truck ran you over that first week. You’re also gonna have lots of family and friends around bringing you meals, and offering to help clean or hold baby for you while you do some chores. Well folks, that gravy train ends and you better be prepared for it!

My biggest piece of advice and what I think has been the most helpful, is go to bed with the baby, and make sure it’s early. Yeah, it’s hard to imagine getting into bed at 7pm when you’re usually up with your husband watching Netflix til midnight… but trust me.

I accidentally started going to bed with her around 7pm the first week we were home because I was so shot from being in the hospital and giving birth. It happened to be a VERY happy accident. I get in bed with her and nurse her to sleep, so she’s usually out by 8pm, and I turn the nightlight out and fall asleep myself. She wakes up about 3-4 times a night, giving me at least 2 hour stretches and according to my Fitbit (I totally recommend wearing one to bed to see how many hours you’re getting) I usually get between 7-9 hours depending on how she sleeps that night.

Babies tend to be up for the day around 6:30-8am, so if I went to bed any later I would probably get about 6 hours or less. By going to sleep when my daughter does, I no longer require naps during the day. I’m not saying I always feel refreshed, because let’s face it interrupted sleep isn’t the most restful; but, I feel good enough during the day to skip naps and get whatever I can done while she’s sleeping.

If you can, give this a shot. Sure you’re not gonna be able to watch that show you’ve been binging with the hubs, and you’ll have less alone time with him for these weeks, but this is just a season. Once baby is sleeping longer you can go to bed at a normal time.

And there you have it folks; all the most important things I have learned over the past month. Like I said, I am no expert mama by any means, but I figured that if I shared some of the knowledge I picked up over the last 5 weeks. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that moms have to stick together and help each other out, especially during the most trying times.

I hope you find this helpful! Would love to hear what you’ve learned as well in the comments. Don’t forget mama you are not alone, and this is only a for a season: a beautiful, crazy, sleep deprived, love filled season I know we’ll all miss.

Letting Go of Plans: My Birth Story

The past few months have been a whirlwind, but they do not compare to the past two weeks. I have left this passion project of a blog unattended, because I was very pregnant, busy, and far more focused on preparing for the little bundle of joy that was to join us!

You see I am a gal who likes a plan. A nice solid plan. This is something that occasionally drives my husband nuts (like when it’s Saturday we have no plans and I get up at 6 am contemplating things to do, and demand he start planning the day with me as soon as he wakes up). I can’t help it! I like to know what I am doing, and what I need to get done.

Nesting hit early on in my second trimester, which was terrible timing because farm life was still in full swing and the husband and I were both working 7 days a week. Come November I had my husband painting walls and building cribs before he had a chance to think otherwise!

Once that third trimester kicked in, I was sure to finish my Hypnobirthing home course, and assign my husband homework and readings from it as well. I wanted to be thoroughly ready for what lay ahead, and my husband had to be too. My birth plan was written, proofread, and had 3 copies printed and strategically placed in different bags just in case by 36 weeks.

In my head I planned that this baby just wouldn’t make it to 40 weeks! She had dropped by week 34 and was 7mm from my bladder and resting her head on my cervix since 37 weeks.

Well I learned pretty quick that planning was about to fly out the door!

The week before my due date I had a routine check. The doctor examined me, told me I was 80% effaced and 1 cm dilated. “From the looks of it you may not make it to your due date, but just in case go ahead and schedule an appointment for that day.” That comment basically gave me the green light on my plans to have this kid before my EDD.

Well then my due date came, and at that appointment the doctor said “OK. Nothing has changed from last week. I would schedule a sonogram for next Friday, and have you scheduled an induction for the 42 week mark yet? Because I think you should just in case.”

This was the beginning of my plans shattering. I walked out of that office with two new appointment cards: one for a sonogram in case my stubborn baby was too big to wait until 42 weeks, and one for an impending induction. My heart deflated and my ego took a big hit. My plans to be a mother by that evening had flown out the window.

I dramatically texted my family saying “No baby, I am just gonna he pregnant forever.” That was the new plan. I even came home and declared it to my husband. “Well since she doesn’t wanna come out, I’ll be induced on the night of February 18th and she’ll be born on the 19th. It’s ok though because I got to pick who will deliver her.”

Well that night our daughter had other plans. After a delicious eggplant parm dinner (a labor induction suggestion from a friend… who knew!), at 12:30 am on February 9th my water broke.

It wasn’t like a scene out of a movie where I immediately went into labor and we rushed to the hospital. I had been sleeping and was actually terrified that the whole loss of bladder control thing everyone had been telling me would happen, had finally occurred. But nope, my water had definitely broken. I phoned the hospital, they told me to wait til 6 am or until my labor had started and I was having good contractions 5 min apart for 1 hour.

At 7:30 that morning my husband and I were rushing out the door to go have our baby girl! I had been having strong contractions every 4 min for 1 min straight for 2 hours by the time we got to the hospital, so naturally my husband and I thought this was gonna be it! I’d be delivering by noon, just like we’d hoped for the past month! An afternoon baby, and lots of naps for the rest of the day! (Hahaha now I can really laugh at that because I’ve lived the new baby hospital life and know that naps are hard to come by there).

The doctor examined me and informed us that my water had indeed broken and she’d be back in a few to check my cervix.

I was so excited! I must be well on my way right? The contractions although pretty painful, and super close at this point were bad, but my hypnobirthing breathing techniques were really helping! I was about to have the all natural, beautiful, non medicated birth I dreamt of!

The doctor then checked me, and informed me that while I was 95% effaced, I was still only 1cm dilated. My water had been broken for almost 9 hours and if I went much longer, the baby and I would both be put on antibiotics because we would be at risk of infection. She suggested I be put on a pitocin drip (synthetic oxytocin) to speed things up.

My birth plan had entailed no pitocin unless necessary… but starting my baby’s life with antibiotics or risking infection outweighed my desire to naturally progress. I agreed, they started my drip, and things certainly sped up. My husband asked me if I wanted to show the doctor my birth plan… I said no that’s ok, confident that I would get the rest of my natural birth!

The first 4-5 hours my breathing techniques worked wonders… but then we entered the transition period. I was about 7-8 cm dilated and the contractions were coming every minute or less, and due to the pitocin were lasting 120 seconds instead of 60 and were super intense. I was in so much pain that I couldn’t breath or relax my body if I tried.

Enter the drugs. I remember looking at my husband who I told “don’t you let me take the epidural”, and pleading with him not to judge me. I knew that if I didn’t take it, I would not have the energy to push this baby out on my own. That mattered to me more than anything. My husband of course supported my decision. What felt like an eternity later, the anesthesiologist showed up and took all the pain away!

After a brief hour long nap, I started feeling a serious pressure and my contractions once again. The doctor checked me, told me I was at 9.5 cm and that she wanted to wait one more hour so the baby could descend a little further on her own. Whelp then she noticed I was feeling my contractions once again, and that the epidural had snapped out of my back! “Ok time to push!” She announced.

About an hour later my little girl was placed into my arms. Our lives were changed forever… and all plans have gone out the window!

We planned to “get some rest” that first night, but as soon as I’d feed the baby, and change her and shut my eyes a nurse would come in to check one or both of us. So we planned on napping the following day, but we were flooded with excited and happy loved ones who came to wish us well.

(Keeping it real:this picture truly captures how exhausted I was the day after giving birth)

It’s been a week and a half since our baby girl was born, and I can honestly say I have woke up everyday knowing full well there will be no planning happening. I’m ok with this now. The only plans I have every day now are to feed, clothe, and give my baby girl all the love she deserves. That is truly the only plan that matters anymore.

Whoever first told me to “plan to throw your plans out”, you were so right. I am so at peace with this idea of a plan free day, because all I really want to do anyway is spend as much time with my girl as I can.

It’s only been 11 days since the birth of my daughter, and time already seems to be speeding by.

Life is just too short to make plans. Instead I will choose to soak up each and every moment I get with my child, so I can cherish them one day when I’m free to plan away again.

Staying Active and Healthy Avocado Toast… for 2!

Surprise! Nick and I are expecting our first child in February! We found out the first weekend of June and have been ecstatic ever since!

I had fully planned on starting up the blog again once Farm season had begun and I had plenty of resources for my recipes… baby had other plans! I have never experience fatigue like I did the first 2.5 months of pregnancy! I napped in my car at work on my lunch break, when I got home, and was in bed by 8:30, 9 pm latest! Apparently this whole growing a human thing really takes it out of you!

Luckily, that was the only bad symptom I experienced during my first trimester. I am beyond grateful that I missed the whole morning sickness fiasco most women deal with! Fatigue was tough, but it wasn’t unbearable.

I was determined from the beginning of my pregnancy to remain fit and healthy for myself and most importantly for baby K. My morning workouts not only keep me in shape but keep me sane. It’s my only time for myself all day, before my husband gets up, before my workday begins, before that list of chores becomes a reality….. I need that time! Thankfully, the little energy I had during the first trimester was at the very start of my morning, so my workouts never stopped!I’ve continued to workout 6 days a week, but have been following prenatal weight lifting workouts and running on my off days (as cleared by my doctors).

There is so much research saying how important it is for women to continue working out during pregnancy. It helps us prepare to be fit for delivery, it helps maintain a healthy weight gain, and also has been shown to help with brain development for baby!

Fitness hasn’t been difficult to keep up with….. my healthy eating habits however have taken a LOT more discipline.

Apparently all this baby wants is mint chocolate chip ice cream and carbs (not that I blame them). Before pregnancy, my will power around sweets was unbreakable…. somehow this baby has made me crazy for ice cream! This was the first thing that tipped my sister in laws off that I might be expecting.

Although I just want to spend my days shoveling in nachos and ice cream, I really want to give my baby the best nutrition I can. I have been focusing my meals around what nutrients are especially important to baby K’s growth and development… not to say that I don’t occasionally allow myself to indulge in a treat or two or three every week. Everyday I try my best to make sure I am taking in enough Folate, vitamin D, calcium, vitamin c, protein, Omega 3s, etc.

I have personally found it easiest to stick to healthy eating when I begin my day with a healthy breakfast!

Almost everyday since the beginning of July I have had the exact same DELICIOUS and most of all NUTRITIOUS breakfast! I call it 1st Trimester Avocado toast. It is so simple, quick and easy to make plus packs a ton of nutritional value!

All you need for this recipe are the following:

1 tsp coconut oil

2 pasture raised eggs

1 cup spinach

1 clove garlic minced

1/2 avocado

1 toasted Ezekiel bread English muffin (or your bread of choice)

Seasoning of choice (I use Trader Joe’s Everything but the Bagel seasoning)

  • First melt the coconut oil in a large pan. Once you have done this, crack the two eggs into one side of the skillet to fry.
  • Once the eggs are about halfway cooked, add garlic to the opposite side of the pan and allow to sweat for 1 minute. Then add in the spinach and cover pan until it begins to wilt.
  • While the spinach is wilting and your eggs are cooking, mash and spread your half an avocado onto each half of your toast.
  • Remove the pan from heat, layer the spinach onto the avocado toast and top it with your fried eggs… that’s all folks!
  • See how simple that is?! You definitely don’t have to be pregnant to enjoy this, but if you are it has so many benefits. This meal is rich in healthy omega-3 fatty acids, vitamin B-6, E, K, Folic acid, potassium, magnesium, protein and fiber! It is also absolutely scrumptious! I wake up wanting this meal every morning, and it fills me up and keeps me going until lunch time!
  • I hope you enjoy this recipe! If you try it out let me know what you think.
  • Now that I am feeling myself again, I plan to create and post many more recipes this summer to share with you all, as well as more about my pregnancy journey!
  • Until the next one,
  • Rachael Krupski